Win a date with Ashfur
by AcornpounceQueenOfDeKitties
Summary: Ashfur, the cat that loved too much is looking for love, how? through a dating show inspired by all the other dating shows out there. will he get a date or will all the she-cats and toms be too scared of him after what happened the first time he dated? FINISHED
1. INTRO

Ashfur sat in his nest, he sighed, he sighed again, he let out one more loud sigh.

"SHUT UP ASHFUR!" Lionheart screamed throwing the book he had been reading to the floor.

"Yeah, shut up," Blackstar agreed, Ashfur's Denmates all nodded in agreement.

"Sorry, it's just I wish I had love," Ashfur said with another sigh, Ivypool took a deep breath.

"We told you, we don't want to have this conversation with you," she hissed putting a paw to her forehead. "You're going to give me a headache," she added and put some headphones on.

"If you want love so much set up a dating show," Dovewing said glancing up from her phone, Ashfur shuffled closer to her.

"I can do that?" he asked, she nodded.

"My mom owns the clan tv," she said proudly. Ivypool glanced up.

"You better not drag me into this," she said glaring at Ashfur, he smiled.

"You will be the camera cat for my new show," he said and looked at Lionheart and Blackstar who were having an arm wrestle.

"You would be the security!" he said, "you're tough!" he added when he looked at Dovewing, she waited.

"You would be the… uh," he paused, "the cat who stands there and breathes?" he said with a shrug, Dovewing looked disappointed. He turned to Jayfeather, he had been silent the whole time.

"You'll be the co-host!" Ashfur said clapping his paws, Jayfeather shrugged.

"Does this mean I'm in charge of who you date?" he asked, Ashfur was silent for a bit.

"I guess it does!" he said and grabbed his phone to call Whitewing. A while later he put it down.

"we're doing a show guys!" he said and grabbed them all in a group hug. "I am gonna find love!" he said with glee.

"We'll do two cats at a time," Jayfeather said slipping out of the hug and grabbing his laptop.

"Our first cats will be… Hollyleaf and Spottedleaf," he said choosing the first names he saw on his I owe Jayfeather how much money list.

"Who will pay for the stage?" Ashfur asked opening his empty wallet.

"I will," Jayfeather said with a grin, "being a doctor pays well," he added.

"Okay," Ivypool said and grabbed her camera, "when we starting?" she asked, Ashfur shrugged.

"Tomorrow?" he asked, Jayfeather shook his head.

"Right now," he said and grabbed his car keys. Ivypool placed her camera in its bag and guided Jayfeather to the door, Lionheart and Blackstar shrugged and followed them happily.

In the car it was crazy.

"I WANNA SIT IN THE FRONT!" Lionblaze shouted and grabbed Blackstar's scruff as he reached for the car door handle, Ivypool slipped past them and hopped into the passenger seat, Jayfeather sat in the driver's seat.

"Are you sure you should drive?" Ashfur asked concerned for his own safety. Jayfeather snorted.

"I'll be great!" he said about to stick the key into the window instead of the keyhole. Ivypool grabbed his paw and guided it to the keyhole, he started the car.

"I was testing you," he said and pushed put it into reverse. Ashfur winced as the car ran over the mailbox.

"Did I hit something?" asked Jayfeather, Ivypool sighed.

"Maybe I should drive?" she said about to get out and swap.

"NO! I can do this! I'm not helpless!" he hissed and put the car into gear and began driving along the footpath, Ivypool let out a sigh.


	2. Spottedleaf and Hollyleaf

Ashfur glanced in the mirror and smoothed down his hair, Lionheart padded up to him holding a big basket of cookies.

"would you like a cookie?" he asked sweetly, Ashfur glared at him and pushed the basket to the floor.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TOUGH!" he shouted, tears welled in Lionheart's eyes, Blackstar ran forward and hugged the tom glaring at Ashfur for hurting his friend's feelings.

"yeah, Lionheart, Cookies aren't tough!" Ivypool agreed, "I would do a way better job than you," she huffed crossing her arms. Lionheart started crying some more.

"don't listen to them!" Blackstar hissed patting the big toms back, "they're just jealous of your baking and photography skills," he added, Ashfur stared at Lionheart in shock.

"you are good at filming?" he asked urgently, Lionheart nodded wiping his tears away. "well you and Ivypool can swap! she trained in the dark forest!" Ashfur said with excitement and snatched Lionheart's top security badge and gave it to Ivypool and handed Lionheart Ivypools camera.

"okay," Lionheart mumbled and picked up his cookies, Blackstar took one and bit into it.

"hmmm," he mumbled and licked his fingers of the crumbs.

"we're almost starting!" Dovewing shouts from wherever she is, Ashfur and everyone else rush onto the stage, the red curtain blocking them from view, Jayfeather stands by a chalkboard, in the center of the stage sat two stools and a lazy boy, Ashfur leaped forward and sank into the chair. Lionheart placed the cookies on the bench between Ashfur and the stools. Ivypool lead Blackstar to the side.

"remember! your job is to only breath! actually, you're now the snack dude in the crowd!" Ashfur shouted at Dovewing just as the curtain rose.

"Hello, Toms and She-cats from all clans!" Ashfur said smiling, the crowd clapped. "so here is how the game goes, we will ask two she-cats or toms a bunch of random questions," Ashfur paused trying to remember his next line, "the first cat to get ten points wins, here's the catch if your answer to a question sucks or you don't answer than a point is taken away, I will be rating the cats answers," he said, the crowd clapped.

"and our cats today are Hollyleaf and Spottedleaf!" Jayfeather shouted from his chalkboard, the crowd clapped with joy. Hollyleaf and Spottedleaf padded on stage, there was some booing for who we don't know. ;) Hollyleaf smiled weakly at Ashfur, he smiled back at her.

"It's all in the past!" he said with a slight sneer, he gestured at the stools and the two she-cats sat down. "your first question is, who is the best mentor?" he asked, Spottedleaf and Hollyleaf glanced at each other.

"Um... Leafpool," Hollyleaf said, "she was really understanding," she explained, Spottedleaf nodded her agreement.

"I'd say Firestar!" she said, Ashfur nodded.

"Jayfeather, give Hollyleaf a point, Spottedleaf gets nothing," he said, Jayfeather nodded and made a tally mark. "the next question is, what is your favorite tv show?" Ashfur asked glancing at some yellow cards.

"Stranger things!" Hollyleaf shouted immediately, Ashfur gasped.

"that's my Favorite too!" he said, Spottedleaf gagged.

"I hate that show! my favorite is the life of Firestar!" she said, Ashfur glared at her.

"I would have given you five points because the life of Firestar is a musical and I love musicals but because you said Stranger things sucks you only get one," he said, Jayfeather made the mark. "and Hollyleaf gets three," Ashfur added, Jayfeather nodded and added the marks.

"Hollyleaf is at four and Spottedleaf is at one!" he said, the crowd clapped in support, for who we don't know.

Ashfur waited for the crowd to die down, "the next question is, what heals broken bones?" he asked, Spottedleaf snorted.

"easy, you wrap it in comfrey and hold it in place with a stick!" she said, Hollyleaf nodded.

"what she said," she said, Jayfeather hissed.

"WRONG! the right answer is a cast!" he yowled, Ashfur nodded.

"you both get no points added," he said, "the next question is, who is your favorite out of the three?" he asked, Hollyleaf cocked her head.

"Dovewing," Spottedleaf said, Hollyleaf snorted.

"well it is obviously Lionblaze!" she said, Ashfur clapped his paws together.

"CORRECT!" he shouted, "give her two points Jayfeather, and 1 for Spottedleaf," Spottedleaf frowned.

"why is Lionblaze correct?" she asked.

"he is my apprentice, I taught him everything he knows!" Ashfur said frustrated she hadn't remembered. Spottedleaf sighed.

"Spottedleaf is at two and Hollyleaf is at six," Jayfeather shouted, Hollyleaf grinned and then remembered what the prize was.

"the next question is, what is the best takeout place?" Ashfur asked Hollyleafs hand shot into the there air, Ashfur nodded.

"Foxleap's fish n chips!" she said, Ashfur nodded.

"Jayfeather that is one point and an extra point for asking to talk," Ashfur said, Jayfeather grumbled.

"I thought you said I would be in charge of who you date!" he hissed and drew the mark. Spottedleaf put her paw in the air, Ashfur nodded.

"Lionheart's bakery," said Spottedleaf confidently, Ashfur tutted.

"in my opinion, it doesn't count and one point taken away for copying Hollyleaf," he said, Jayfeather erased one of her two marks.

"Hollyleaf is beating the crap out of Spottedleaf with the score of 8 to 1!" he shouted and high fived his sister.

"and most likely last question, who is the best person on this show?" he asked.

"Jayfeather," Hollyleaf said straight away, Spottedleaf smirked.

"Ashfur," she answered.

"okay, Spottedleaf, I hate suck-ups, you get no points added, Hollyleaf having a close relationship with your siblings is important and you were being honest, you get three points," he said, Spottedleaf gasped and Hollyleaf leaped out of her chair in happiness.

"Hollyleaf has won a date with Ashfur to a water park!" shouted Jayfeather Spottedleaf glared at Ashfur. she walked forward paws out, she HATED to lose, Ivypool leaped out from the side and slammed the she-cat to the floor, Sandstorm from the crowd climbed on stage to join her and started punching Spottedleaf's face in.

"Come, Hollyleaf!" Ashfur said and lead his date off stage. "we will be back!" Jayfeather said to the camera before following Jayfeather off stage.

 **okay, I need two cats for the next chapter, any gender, clan, age, I just need two cats! please review what cats you want to go to the show!**


	3. Bramblestar and Squirrelflight

Ashfur padded past Jayfeather and sat down in his lazy boy.

"when will the show start?" he asked Jayfeather, he checked his watch.

"I'm blind," he said mater factly. Ashfur grumbled something about useless and checked his own watch.

"one hour," he read and groaned. "I got here early!" he hissed, Jayfeather nodded.

"we could watch the news?" he said turning on the tv. Ashfur shrugged.

"reporting live from the murder spot is Purdy, Purdy please tell us what's going on?" Bluestar said, Firestar from beside her nodded, Purdy took over the screen.

"here in the local water park is every clan detective known to the clans, to discover who killed Hollyleaf," he said, a smile crept across Ashfur's face, Jayfeather glared at the wall.

"Ashfur you killed my sister!" he yowled, Ashfur tapped the blind cat on the shoulder.

"I'm over here bro," he said, Jayfeather turned around. "she killed me and I'm somehow related to you," Ashfur said defensively.

"Oh, I forgive you," Jayfeather said and turned away to prepare his chalkboard. they watched some more tv and after a bit, Lionheart turned up.

"do you want a croissant?" he asked setting down a plate full of them in front of Ashfur.

"HECK YEAH!" he said and grabbed one. "we must eat them before the others arrive and we have to share!" he added and the three quickly ate them.

"we're almost starting!" Dovewing shouted rushing on stage, "I've opened the doors and the crowd is finding their seats," she said panting. Ashfur nodded and grabbed two cushions and put them on the stools.

"POSITIONS" Dovewing shouted putting on a snack tray and walking off stage to the crowd, Ashfur nodded and sat in his chair. the curtains rose to reveal the crowd.

"Hello cats of all clans," he greeted, " you know the rules," He said and nodded towards Jayfeather, who couldn't see this. "Jayfeather!" Ashfur hissed.

"Oh, today we have Bramblestar and Squirrelflight," he called out, Ashfur grabbed his coffee took a sip then spat it out.

"WHO REVIEWED THEM!" he shouted. Jayfeather glanced at his card.

"HHQFandom," he read, Ashfur glared at the camera.

"I will find you, and get my revenge!" he hissed.

Jayfeather shook his head. "Ashfur that's creepy," he said, the rest of the crew nodded their agreement.

"fine," Ashfur grumbled as Squirrelflight and Bramblestar padded on stage holding hands. "I WILL HAVE NO SIGN OF AFFECTION ON THIS SHOW UNLESS FOR ME!" Ashfur shouted Jayfeather sighed.

"Um, okay," Squirrelflight mewed and sat down on a stool, Bramblestar sat on the one next to her, Ashfur got up fuming and hauled his chair over the bench and between the two stools, he sat back down.

"the first question is, who is better: Hawkfrost or Darkstripe," he asked, Bramblestar gulped, Squirrelflight just shrugged.

"easy, Hawkfrost, at least he didn't try to kill a kit and kill a half clan cat and all the other bad stuff," she hissed her nose wrinkled in disgust. Bramblestar nodded his agreement.

"same,"

"WHAT! HE IS NOT TRUSTWORTHY!" screamed Squirrelflight, Bramblestar looked confused.

"but I thought you just said..." he was stunted.

"Jayfeather, Bramblestar gets a one and Squirrelflight gets a zero for being confusing," Ashfur said and pushed her stool away with his toe. Jayfeather nodded and drew the marks.

"the next question is, what is your mother's name?" Ashfur asked he frowned, this was an easy question.

"Sandstorm," Squirrelflight said, Bramblestar was massaging his forehead.

"think, think. Golden...Golden what?" he took a deep breath. "Goldenfoot?" he asked, Ashfur sighed.

"incorrect," he said and sighed. "honestly you are a horrible son," he hissed shaking his head.

"oh yeah? who is your mother?!" Bramblestar asked crossing his arms.

"easy!" Ashfur hissed before spinning around and pulling out his phone. "Brindleface," he said spinning back to face Bramblestar. "anyway, one point to Squirrelflight and next question!" he said over Bramblestar's snort.

"who is the coolest warrior cat in the entire warrior series?" Ashfur asked Squirrelflight jumped up and down.

"FIRESTAR!" she said, Bramblestar shrugged.

"he is a cool dude, but I say Jayfeather," he said, Ashfur nodded.

"Jayfeather, Bramblestar gets two, Squirrelflight gets one," he said, Jayfeather nodded his agreement.

"Squirrelflight is at two and Bramblestar is at three," he read out, Bramblestar groaned, he didn't want to date Ashfur but he also didn't want his mate to date Ashfur.

"next question!" he said brightly and looked at a yellow card. "When was the first warrior book published?" Ashfur asked Squirrelflight smiled.

"a long time ago?" she asked, Bramblestar gulped and took a random guess.

"2005?" he asked and held his breath. Ashfur shook his head.

"close, Jayfeather give him a point for how close he was and Squirrelflight you didn't even try! one point taken away," he said, Jayfeather nodded.

"Bramblestar is at four and Squirrelflight is at one," he called out.

"next question," Ashfur said and glanced at his card, "how do you spell vegetable?" he asked, Squirrelflight's eyes spun around.

"B-E-E-T-R-O-O-T" she screamed.

"uh no," Ashfur said, Bramblestar's eye twitched he stood up grabbed a veg and a table (from where is not needed to be mentioned) he slammed the two together.

"V-E-G-E-T-A-B-L-E-!" he shouted and panted.

"uh yes, three points, Squirrelflight. zero," Ashfur said, he was hiding behind his chair.

"Bramblestar is at seven and Squirrelflight one," Jayfeather read out from his mind because he can't see and chalk can't be braille. Ashfur nodded.

"the next question is, what is your favorite breed of dog?" he asked, Squirrelflight gagged.

"DOGS SUCK!" she hissed, Bramblestar had a smile on his face.

"cavalier king charlie spaniel," Bramblestar mewed love struck.

"Okay, Bramblestar gets three and zero to his mate, next question-" Ashfur was cut off by Jayfeather.

"Bramblestar won," he said, Ashfur blinked at him in shock.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, Jayfeather nodded.

"not again! last time sucked!" whined Bramblestar, Squirrelflight frowned.

"when was this?" she asked him sternly.

"on a date with your enemy!" he squeaked, Jayfeather smiled.

"they are going for a meal out to Foxleap's fish n chips, we will be back if you give cats for the show," he said and pulled everyone off stage as the curtains dropped.


	4. Brook and Silverstream

**before I start, Guest if you're reading this, who is Ecnuopnroca?**

Ashfur sat in his chair, Jayfeather smiled at him.

"how was your date?" he asked, Ashfur blushed a smile creeping over his face.

"it was horrible!" he said happy Jayfeather couldn't see him blush.

"You know I can read your mind!" Jayfeather sneered, Ashfur gulped.

"DON'T TELL ANYONE!" he hissed grabbing Jayfeather and shaking him. he nodded.

"I wasn't going to!" he promised, Ashfur nodded and put him down. Dovewing bounded up to them wearing her snack bench, Ashfur grabbed a can of Y.F and sipped it.

"the show is starting!" Ivypool shouted, "Lionheart ready the camera" she added and the red curtains rose.

"hello cats, this is, win a date with Ashfur!" Ashfur meowed, Jayfeather nodded.

"and today Brook and Silverstream will compete to win a date with Ashfur to Sasha's Sushi!" Jayfeather called out and Brook and Silverstream padded on stage, they took their seats.

"Hello! your first question is, what is your feelings towards your mates first love or now love?" Ashfur asked Brook smiled.

"Well Stormfur first liked Squirrelflight and I actually never liked her, she was too bratty, I don't know what he saw in her! she was to ARGH!" Brook groaned and crossed her paws. Silverstream took a deep breath.

"Millie made Graystripe happy again and that is all I wanted for him, BUT the she-cat sucks! she is full of favoritism and she was good at the start but she was just tricking Graystripe!" she yowled. Ashfur smiled.

"You both get two points," he said, Jayfeather made the tally marks. "your next question is, what is your worst trait?" Ashfur asked Silverstream frowned.

"do I have one? um, I'm to perfect?" she guessed, Brook nodded.

"my one is probably I smell of mud," she mewed, Ashfur frowned.

"does that count? anyway one to Silverstream and none to Brook," he said, Jayfeather drew the extra mark.

"Brook is at two and Silverstream is at three," he called, Ashfur smiled and picked up the next yellow card.

"What have you got in common?" he asked, Silverstream's paw shot up, Ashfur nodded.

"well both of us have two kits and have a mate from somewhere else," she said, Brook opened her mouth for her turn.

"We both have a connection with Stormfur," she mewed, Ashfur frowned.

"Oh yeah, two points to Silverstream and one to Brook," he said and Jayfeather drew the mark.

"next question, can you do the splits?" Ashfur asked, Silverstream got up and slipped with ease into the splits then rose, Brook stayed seated. "two points to Silverstream, one taken away for Brook," Ashfur said, Jayfeather nodded.

"Silverstream is at five and Brook is at one," he said, Silverstream grinned. and Ashfur also grinned.

"next question, who is your father?" he asked, Silverstream's paw was up.

"Crookedstar," she said, Brook looked at her paws in shame. Ashfur tutted.

"well, no-one knows so I'll give you a point, Silverstream you get two more,"

"Silverstream is at seven and Brook is at two," Jayfeather said and Ashfur took out his next question card. "who do you think should be the fourth? Firestar, Hollyleaf, Ivypool or Mothwing?" he asked.

"Hollyleaf," Brook guessed, Silverstream tapped her chin.

"Firestar," she said uncertainly, Ashfur nodded.

"Brook you get one and Silverstream you get three," he said and Silverstream bounced up and down.

"Silverstream has won a date with Ashfur to Sasha's Sushi," Jayfeather called out, Ashfur and Silverstream bounded off stage, Brook sighed with relief and padded off to find Stormfur in the crowd. "we will be back!" Jayfeather shouted before the curtains dropped.

 **Thanks for reading! please review two cats to go on the show!**


	5. Acornpounce and Ecnuopnroca

**AN hello I'm back! I hope you enjoy this chapter please review, cats or comments. (:**

Ashfur stood in the middle of the stage and waited for the curtains to rise, he grinned at the crowd, "Hello!" he said joyfully and glanced at Jayfeather.

"and today competing to win a date with Ashfur to Kinkfeather's Fresh cookies, KFC, is Acornpounce and Ecnuopnroca!" he said, Ashfur turned to greet the two cats, they weren't there.

"They got caught in traffic," Ivypool said from the side, Ashfur nodded, he needed to entertain the crowd, he grabbed Jayfeather shoved a Tootoo on him and forced him to dance. Jayfeather revealed his amazing ballet skills. Ashfur gasped in shock and awe.

"Sorry, we were late!" Acornpounce mewed bounding on stage, a gray tom followed her, he had ginger tabby markings.

"I am not sorry about being late," Ecnuopnroca hissed, his opposite sighed and took a seat on a stool.

"First question!" Ashfur mewed shoving Jayfeather over to his chalkboard, "Is Jayfeather great at the ballet?" Ashfur asked and Acornpounce pulled out the script she had written for the show.

"Yes," she said confidently. Ecnuopnroca frowned.

"No," he said, Ashfur tutted.

"Acornpounce, you get one point, you would have gotten two but you cheated," he mewed snatching the script away from her, "Ecnuopnroca, you get no points," Ashfur mewed, he grabbed his next card and read it allowed.

"What is your favorite warrior book?" he asked, Acornpounce frowned in thought.

"The last hope," she said, Ashfur nodded and turned his gaze to Ecnuopnroca.

"The warrior code, field guide," he said in a dull voice, Ashfur rolled his eyes.

"I couldn't even get past the first page!" he groaned, "Acornpounce, two points, Ecnuopnroca, uh, One point," Ashfur said and Jayfeather drew all the marks under Acornpounce's name cause he is blind and couldn't locate where to put them.

"Acorn is at three and Ecnuopnroca is at one," he called out, Ecnuopnroca snorted.

"Next question!" Ashfur mewed grabbing another yellow card. "If you had to choose between ridding the warrior world of, Tigerstar and Rainflower, who would you choose?" Acornpounce cracked her knuckles.

"Rainflower!" she sneered, Ecnuopnroca glared at her.

"I would forget about Tigerstar and save Rainflower from Acornpounce," he said, Ashfur gasped.

"HE WON'T BE GETTING POINTS FOR THE NEXT THREE QUESTIONS!" he shouted in rage, "and Acorn gets three points," he added calmer. Acornpounce gulped, she really didn't want to end up on a date with Ashfur the psychopath.

"Acornpounce is at six and Ecnuopnroca we don't even need to mention you," Jayfeather said and handed Ashfur the next question card.

"What is your favorite sentence in warriors?" he asked, Acornpounce answered first again.

"That line in the omen of the stars when Lionblaze asks Foxleap how Jayfeather was," she said, Jayfeather grunted.

"I was fine! He doesn't need to worry about me so much!" he complained, Ashfur smiled and turned to Ecnuopnroca.

"My favorite line is, 'you suck Crookedjaw, Rainflower has every reason to hate you!' love that line," he said, Ashfur looked stunned.

"Uh, Acornpounce you get one, and Ecnuopnroca, that was never a line," he said and grabbed his next card.

"WAIT!" Jayfeather shouted, "Acornpounce is at seven and Ecnuopnroca is at still not needed to be mentioned," he called out and nodded at Ashfur.

"The next question isssssss… why did you come to this show?" Ashfur asked.

"Ivypool forced us," Acornpounce and Ecnuopnroca said at the same time.

"One to Acornpounce and Ecnuopnroca you still aren't allowed to earn points!" Ashfur said and Jayfeather nodded.

"Eight," he called out not even bothering to mention Ecnuopnroca.

"What is your favorite song?" Ashfur asked Acorn who shrugged.

"El Tango de Roxanne, for now," she said, Ecnuopnroca snorted.

"I love 'Let it go' from frozen," he said dreamily, Ashfur gasped in total shock.

"ECNUOPNROCA! You get ten million points!" he shouted, "I love musicals!" he added pushing Acornpounce aside and pulling Ecnuopnroca off stage to go to their date. Acornpounce didn't know if she should be sad or happy.

"Ecnuopnroca has won a date with Ashfur to Kinkfeather's fresh cookies, KFC," Jayfeather said before dragging Acornpounce off stage, the curtains dropped.


	6. Half Moon and Briarlight

Ashfur sat on his chair twiddling with his thumbs. His date with Ecnuopnroca had been amazing, they were so alike! but his date with Bramblestar was still the best, okay killing Hollyleaf was also fun.

"Time to start," Dovewing said peering out a window to see a bunch of cats waiting to be let inside the theater.

"Time to start then!" Ashfur said and Dovewing opened the door, cats poured in and found their seats. the curtains rose. "Hello, She-cats and toms of all clans! welcome to Win a Date with Ashfur!" he said. Jayfeather smiled and took over.

"and today with us is..." he paused as he felt a piece of cardboard. "HALF MOON AND BRIARLIGHT? RECOMMENDED BY HHQFANDOMS!" he shouted.

"Whoa!" Ashfur said trying to remain calm. "we have a plan!" he said patting Jayfeather on the back, the tom sighed.

"fine, welcome to the stage, Half moon, and Briarlight," Jayfeather muttered and the two she-cats bounded on stage and took their seat on the uncomfortable stool.

"The first question is, what is your middle name?" Ashfur asked taking his own seat, Half moon blushed and glanced at Jayfeather.

"It's too embarrassing," she muttered, Ashfur frowned.

"unless you want -1 point then I would answer because I really want to know now!" he said, Halfmoon sighed and didn't say anything, Asfur turned to Briarlight.

"My full name is, Briarlight the favorite and crippled the first," she said proudly, the cripple part. not the favorite.

"Jayfeather, Half Moon is at -1 point and Briarlight is at one," Ashfur said and read out the next question. "How many kits do you want?" he asked, Briarlight began crying.

"I will never be able to!" she sobbed, Jayfeather rushed forward and hugged her. Blackstar marched on stage.

"No sign of affection unless for Ashfur allowed!" he said, Jayfeather hissed but padded away.

"I'm so sorry," Ashfur mewed and smiled at Halfmoon.

"ONE THOUSAND JAYFEATHER CLONES!" she said her eyes twitching. "and their names will be, Jaymoon, Jayhope, Jayfern, Jayjay, Jay, Jaywing, Jayglow, Jayheart, Jaybird, Jaygaze," she was cut off by Ashfur.

"that's just wrong, Half Moon gets another point taken away and cause I feel sorry for Briarlight she gets two," he said edging away from the twitching tribe cat.

"Half Moon is at -2 and Briarlight is at three," Jayfeather said. Ashfur nodded and grabbed the next question card.

"What is your least favorite Win a Date with show?" he asked.

"Win a date with Jayfeather," Briarlight said, Half Moon, smiled calmly.

"Win a Date with Ashfur, I only love one cat," she said and smiled at Jayfeather.

"that's all well but none added," Ashfur said, "Briarlight you get three points," he added, Briarlight frowned.

"why?" she asked, Ashfur shrugged.

"it doesn't matter," he said.

"Half Moon is at -2 and Briarlight is at six," Jayfeather called out, Ashfur smiled and picked up the next card.

"Night or day?" he asked.

"day," Briarlight said.

"night," Half Moon said.

Ashfur smiled, "Night is wrong because that is the perfect time for Hollyleaf to attack me, the day is correct."

"two to Briar and one taken away from Half Moon," he said and Half Moon frowned.

"Briarlight is at eight and Half Moon is at -3," Jayfeather said, "two more points to Briarlight and she will win," he added. she smiled weakly at the tom she loved and looked back at Ashfur who was reading out the next question.

"Who is the better leader, Rowanstar or Onestar?" he asked, the two competing she-cats paused to think. and at the same time said;

"Rowanstar," Ashfur nodded.

"I'm not that bad!" Onestar shouted from the crowd, Ashfur waved him off.

"you both get two points," he said, Jayfeather sighed.

"Briarlight has won a date with Ashfur to the mall," he said, Briarlight stared at Ashfur.

"Yay!" Half Moon said prancing to Jayfeather's side. "Wanna go on a date ourselves?" she asked.

"Nah," Jayfeather mewed leaving Half Moon in shock, "I love someone else," he said and stuck out his paw and with the force, he pulled Stick out of the crowd and to his side, the two padded off.

"this is great," Briarlight mewed, "now let's just put my wheelchair in your car," she added producing a gigantic wheelchair.

"this isn't going to work!" Ashfur said, "I own a mini," he explained. Briarlight sighed and hauled herself onto the seat and wheeled off stagWell

well,l no date today but me and stick!" Jayfeather mewed as he and stick followed Briarlight off stage.


	7. Cinderheart and Mothwing

_Cinderheart and Mothwing_

Ashfur grinned at his crowd, "please Jayfeather, tell us who we have with us today," he mewed and Jayfeather nodded obediently.

"Cinderheart and Mothwing!" he called out and the two bounded on stage grinning at the crowd and waving.

"So anything to say before we start?" Ashfur asked rubbing his paws together.

"Wanna cookie?" Lionheart asked, the camera tilting slightly as he reached for a cookie to hand out.

"ME!" Cinderheart shouted and Lionheart chucked it at her, it hit her right between the eyes and fell onto her nose. Cinderheart swiped it off and it fell to the floor and broke into crumbs.

"NOO!" Cinderheart moaned and flopped onto her stool, Mothwing sat calmly down and smiled at Ashfur.

"The first question!" he mewed as Dovewing padded on stage and cleaned up the cookies. "Would you rather, date Rainflower or eat fox-dung?" Ashfur asked as Dovewing padded back off.

"Fox-dung," Cinderheart and Mothwing said at the same time, Ashfur nodded.

"Correct," he mewed, "two points each," he told Jayfeather before turning back to beam at the two she-cats. Lionblaze tiptoed on stage and whispered something to Jayfeather who nodded. Once his brother left he took away one of Cinderhearts points. Lionblaze gave him a thumbs up from the side and he bounced back to his seat.

"Next question is, who is your favorite, your mum or your dad?" Ashfur asked not noticing the change in points. Cinderheart was the first to reply.

"My mum," she answered, Mothwing frowned.

"WHY THIS IS A HARD DECISION!" she hissed twitching slightly, "my mother," she answered punching her paws together, Tigerstar edged out of the crowd to escape but Blackstar stopped him.

"Three points to Mothwing and one to Cinderheart," Ashfur said and Jayfeather grinned at Lionblaze, he grinned back.

"Mothwing is at five and Cinderheart is at two," Jayfeather said adding up the points, Ashfur didn't notice the change.

"Next question," he mewed grinning, "Do you have feelings for another tom?" Ashfur asked and Cinderheart nodded.

"He is amazing," she mewed dreamily. Ashfur snorted and smiled at Mothwing.

"No," she mewed and Jayfeather looked heart-broken. "We're good friends!" she said sighing.

"Three to Mothwing zero to Cinderheart," Ashfur said glaring at Jayfeather.

"Mothwing is at eight and Cinderheart is at two," Jayfeather mewed a tear rolling down his cheek, then he remembered stick and brightened.

"Next question!" Ashfur said and grabbed his card. "Icecream or chocolate?" he asked. Cinderheart and Mothwing gulped.

"They're both so goooooooood!" Cinderheart moaned but Mothwing just shrugged.

"Icecream, chocolate Icecream," she mewed and Ashfur grinned.

"Mothwing gets to points!" he mewed and carried her off stage.

"Mothwing has won a date with Ashfur to Fancy feasts the restaurant," Jayfeather said and Lionblaze rushed on stage to greet his mate.

"Third wheel!" Blackstar shouted chasing after Ashfur and Mothwing.

 **This is a rather short chapter but I hope you liked it. please review! have a great day!**


	8. Blackstar

**Well, someone wanted this chapter but after this, we'll go back to the show! but for now, enjoy a chapter of Blackstar third wheeling! (it may be short)**

Mothwing winced as Blackstar took another sloppy mouthful of spaghetti and slurped up the noddle.

"Did you have to choose that?" she hissed. Blackstar smiled.

"You ordered it," he pointed out. Mothwing grumbled and leaned into Ashfur. He smiled down at her. The two leaned close to kiss but Ashfur pulled away thoughts of Bramblestar filling his mind. Mothwing glanced away too to see Blackstar watching intently, filming as well.

"WHY DID YOU LET HIM COME?!" she groaned.

"I pitied him! He was all alone," Ashfur mewed sadly smiling at Blackstar.

"And there was no stopping me," Blackstar mewed grinning. He got up and padded to the bathroom. Mothwing sighed with relief just as he darted back.

"Kidding!" he said, "you looked so happy!" he added before turning to Ashfur. The grey tom was on his phone and softly chuckling. Blackstar snatched the phone and scrolled through the texts.

"You are so annoying!" Ashfur shouted before snatching it back and putting it away. Mothwing glanced around to find a waiter. Graystripe padded up to them.

"Hello," he mewed brightly, "are you ready for dessert?" he asked.

"Yes!" Blackstar shouted grabbing his menu, "Cheeeeeesecake!" he mewed little love hearts appearing in his eyes.

"Sticky date pudding," Mothwinghwig mewed after him and she nudged Ashfur. The tom was intently searching the menu.

"WHY DON'T I SEE BIRTHDAY CAKE!" he demanded, Mothwing looked shocked at his sudden outburst. Blackstar stroked Ashfur soothingly.

"It's okay," he mewed, "they'll add it," he hissed glaring at Graystripe. He nodded quickly before darting off.

"You can't eat a whole birthday cake!" Mothwing said to Ashfur tutting.

"Yes, he can!" Blackstar mewed and shoved his phone in front of her face forcing her to watch Ashfur eat a whole birthday cake in ten seconds then throw it back up. When Blackstar took the phone back Mothwing looked a little green.

"Why did you do that?" Ashfur asked but Blackstar was gazing off at a russet she-cat at the bar. A while after Mothwing had returned Graystripe padded over balancing the sticky date pudding on his head and holding the other two. Blackstar grinned and stuck out his paw, tripped him and saved his cheesecake. The rest spalted to the floor.

"NO THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!" Ashfur groaned flopping to the floor tears welling in his eyes. Blackstar finished his dessert and padded away.

"You're paying!" he called as he left the building.

 **The next chapter will be: Firestar and Cinderpelt then Tawnypelt and Thistleclaw then... Ivypool and Scourge (we all know who's going to win)**


	9. Cinderpelt and Firestar

Ashfur rubbed his forehead. Blackstar had some nerve turning up. "Well?" he hissed paws on his hips. "An apology?" he snarled when Blackstar just looked confused.

"Um," Blackstar frowned then collapsed to the floor.

"IM SO SORRY! I AM USELESS AND A WASTE OF TIME!" he shouted, "I'm SORRY! For being early to work," he added and walked off a broom in hand. Lionheart followed and they swept the floor on the stage together. Ashfur grumbled something before turning to Dovewing, she was showing off and doing flips and handsprings springs.

"Show off," Ashfur muttered and got up to leave but Ivypool got in his way.

"Password," she mewed.

"ARGH!" Ashfur hissed and sighed. "I said only ask those coming ON stage for the password!" he explained Ivypool smirked.

"Wrong, you told Blackstar that, YOU'RE NOT ASHFUR!" she shouted and leaped on him.

"BE COOL!" he shouted and Ivypool stepped aside to let him pass. "We're starting now anyway," he grumbled and padded back to his chair. Blackstar and Lionheart had finished sweeping and Dovewing had a stitch so was lying on the floor clutching her waist and moaning.

"Get off," Ashfur hissed and kicked her off stage she fell into some chairs and shouted in pain.

"Are we starting?" Jayfeather asked padding on stage wearing a head full of hair rollers.

"Yes," Ashfur sniggered. Jayfeather ran off stage and returned beautiful curls upon his head. A large crowd of cats sat down in the crowd.

"Welcome cats of all clans to win a date with Ashfur!" Ashfur welcomed throwing his paws in the air he made to sit down but Blackstar pulled his chair back. "OW!" Ashfur hissed rubbing his but and glaring at Blackstar, the tom quickly darted off stage. "Jayfeather tell them who is with us," Ashfur snarled sitting in his chair.

"Yes, Cinderpelt and Firestar," Jayfeather called and the two padded on stage.

"WHAT!?" Ashfur hissed and smiled weakly at Firestar.

"I forgive you for trying to kill me!" he mewed and hugged the gray host tightly.

"Can't breath," AShfur gasped and Firestar released.

"No one touches my boss," Ivypool hissed smacking her bat against her paw. Firestar backed up paws in the air.

"It's okay," Ashfur mewed rubbing his throat. Ivypool nodded but glared at Firestar.

"Anyway," Ashfur said clapping his paws together loudly, " the first question is, what is your favorite holiday?" he asked and grinned.

"Christmas," Cinderpelt mewed.

"Birthday," Firestar said.

"OMG?! BIRTHDAY=BIRTHDAY CAKE!" Ashfur shouted sitting up, he and Firestar bounced in a circle holding hands and squealing.

"Birthday isn't a holiday," Cinderpelt mewed, she sat calmly on a chair. Ashfur gasped.

"No points to Cinderpelt, two to Firestar," Ashfur hissed and sat back down. Jayfeather flicked his curls out of his blind eyes and drew the tally marks on his board.

"You spelled my name wrong," Firestar commented. Jayfeather frowned.

"How do you spell Firestar then?" he asked rolling his eyes.

"P-h-r-e-t-a-a-r" he mewed.

"NO!" Cinderpelt hissed. "F-i-r-e-s-t-a-r," she hissed shaking her head.

"Uh, one point taken away from Firestar and one added to Cinderpelt," Ashfur mewed frowning at Firestar. Cinderpelt nodded approvingly and pulled Firestar back into his chair.

"Next question!"

"CInderpelt, is Firestar hot?" Ashfur asked, CInderpelt blushed and Firestar grinned.

"I AM ABSOLUTELY BOOTIFUL!" he shouted.

"No," Cinderpelt mewed shuddering. Ashfur nodded his agreement.

"One point to both," he said. CInderpelt looked shocked. Jayfeather rolled his eyes as Firestar rocked with joy.

"So, Firestar is at two and Cinderpelt is at two as well," He mewed. Ashfur nodded and wrapped a paw around Firestar, the gray tom whispered something into Firestar's ear before pulling away. Cinderpelt frowned and folded her paws glaring at Ashfur.

"Next question, What is used to heal rat bites?" Ashfur asked, Cinderpelt smirked a smug look and raised her paw.

"Burdock root," she mewed smirking at Firestar.

"One point to Cinderpelt," Ashfur said grinning. Firestar looked utterly shocked.

"Burdock root…" he whispered smiling weakly. Ashfur gasped in amazement.

"TEN THOUSAND POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!" he shouted. Firestar shouted in delight and pranced around Cinderpelt laughing.

"Firestar has won a date with Ashfur because the host has been cheating again." Jayfeather mewed dully rolling his eyes. "Come back for more," he added even duller,

"of win a date with Ashfur!" Ashfur finished brightly before the curtains dropped.


	10. Tawnypelt and Thistleclaw

Ashfur glared at Blackstar as he padded on stage. he smiled weakly.

"I can't believe you're still angry about the third wheel!" he hissed, but when Ashfur continued glaring Blackstar he smiled even weaker "birthday cake?" he mewed handing a cake box over to the host. Ashfur nodded.

"apology accepted." He hissed before he opened the box. It was empty. His eyes turned to slits and he glared at Blackstar. "YOU ARE FIRERED!" he yowled outraged. Blackstar blocked his ears and ran off grinning. Ashfur panted.

"Dovewing, Ivypool," he called the two sisters over the scampered to his throne and bowed. "Ivypool you shall be the only security for a while and Dovewing make some poster asking for more workers," he commanded, and they marched off. Lionheart padded up to him a real birthday cake in hand. He smiled softly as he handed It over.

"TIME TO START!" Acorn shouted looking at her script. The curtains lifted just as Ashfur put his cake under his chair for later.

"hello and welcome back to win a date with cake muncher," he mewed. "I mean Ashfur," he added blushing. "with us today competing over me shall be, Firestar and Cinderpelt was it?" Ashfur searched for his lines and laughed. "no that was last chapter," he chuckled, "this chapter is Tawnypelt and Thistleclaw!" he shouted, and those two cats climbed on stage from the crowd. They looked wary.

"well, who out of you likes Harry potter the most?" Ashfur asked.

"ME!" Thistleclaw shouted with puppy eyes and a smile.

"SEVEN MILLION POINTS TO GRIFFINDOOR!" Ashfur shouted back glancing at Jayfeather to make sure he wrote it down.

"I'm Ravenclaw!" Thistleclaw hissed insulted.

"rub that out," acorn told Jayfeather shaking her head at Ashfur. "actually, ask the questions I gave you," she hissed. Ashfur rolled his eyes but still picked up a card.

"o! would you rather, never sleep or never eat?" Ashfur asked. Thistleclaw grabbed a huge cup of coffee and glugged it down. Tawnypelt stuffed her mouth with traveling herbs.

"I would rather never sleep," Thistleclaw answered. Tawnypelt shook her head.

"never eat," she replied then smiled. "I get hangry" (if you don't know hangry is getting angry when hungry.) Ashfur frowned.

"but that means you'd prefer not sleeping?" he mewed. Tawnypelt shrugged.

"I like being angry," she mewed. Ashfur nodded and smile at Jayfeather.

"2 points to Thistleclaw," he said. Jayfeather nodded.

"YOU CAN LOSE BABE!" Snowfur shouted encouragingly from the crowd.

"you still love him?" Ashfur asked shocked, "he's evil," he added.

"I can change him!" Snowfur mewed.

"you remind me of Bell and Rumpelstiltskin," Tawnypelt commented. Ashfur nodded.

"next question!" he shouted grabbing a card. "what is the best clan other than the one you were born in?" Ashfur then chucked it to the floor.

"that's a hard one!" he hissed. Tawnypelt smiled.

"ShadowClan," she mewed.

"I said you couldn't choose the clan you were born in!" Ashfur hissed.

"I was born in Thunderclan," she corrected tartly rather insulted he couldn't remember.

"probably Riverclan," Thistleclaw mewed smartly. That was one of the most likable clans.

"Three points to Thistleclaw and one to Tawnypelt," Jayfeather guessed. Ashfur nodded. "I'm always right," Jayfeather mewed grinning. Tawnypelt rolled her eyes.

"our next question is, is dirt yummy," Ashfur mewed and gagged.

"no." Tawnypelt and Thistleclaw said basing there reply after common sense and his reaction to dirt.

"HAHA! Wrong dirt is delicious!" Ashfur shouted. Dovewing nodded.

"he's right!" she mewed as she padded up to her boss and showed him the posters she had made.

"good," he mewed before waving her away. "so no points for either of you," Ashfur said and grabbed his next card.

"SPIDER!" he screamed dropping the card, on it sat the tiniest spider you had ever seen. "KILL IT! KILL T!" Ashfur shouted again leaping away in disgust. He clung to Tawnypelt keeping his paws off the ground. Tawnypelt stumbled around off balance his weight making it hard to stay up. Thistleclaw rushed to help her and accidentally crushed the baby tiny small, spider.

"you did it!" Ashfur shouted before Tawnypelt fell over and crushed both him and Thistleclaw.

"200 hundred points to Thistleclaw," Ashfur grunted through Tawnypelt's fur. Jayfeather nodded.

"Thistleclaw has won all of Ashur's money!" he said.

"what!" Ashfur shouted flinging Tawnypelt off and through the roof.

"nah kidding he won a date to Garfield's diner," Jayfeather chuckled.

"boohoo," Thistleclaw grunted.

"he didn't lose," Snowfur mewed. "WE'RE done!" she shouted marching out of the building.

"I'll leave the back door open!" Thistleclaw shouted after her.

"see you next time," Ashfur said to the his date off stage.


	11. Scourge and Ivypool

Ashfur smiled to himself.

"scourge…" he whispered daydreaming about who he hoped to be his date. Jayfeather smiled when he heard Ashfur whisper.

"you know bud, I've been thinking… I actually hate you," Jayfeather explained pulling a chair close to Ashfur so he could sit down and chat with him.

"oh. Ha, ha, ha… yeah?" Ashfur asked feeling a little queasy.

"and I still hate you! I mean you tried to kill me!" Jayfeather yowled getting all of the worker's attention. Dovewing and Ivypool stopped their work to watch of course Lionblaze had to watch because he was filming, a lot of the time he wanted to look away because the cringe was too painful. Jayfeather sighed and yanked a suitcase from thin air.

"I QUIT!" Jayfeather yowled and stormed out of the building.

"Noooo!" Ashfur hissed. "come back you!" he yowled but only got the finger before the doors slammed shut, a while later they heard Jayfeather's car start then a scream coming from an old lady getting run over.

"FINE! I fire you!" Ashfur yowled over the sound of Jayfeather running into things.

"let's get back to the show," the host hissed pretending his pride wasn't hurt. Ivypool nodded.

"but who will be your co-host?" she asked adjusting her top security badge.

"I will, who need two hosts anyway," Ashfur sniffed sitting down in his chair. "Dovewing I will need you to add to those posters," he mewed gesturing to the identical hand made stacks of posters. The only reason Dovewing had bothered to do each one by hand was that she was too lazy to learn how to use the printer. Ashfur rolled his eyes.

"JUST USE THE PRINTER!" he screamed. Dovewing backed away doing the peace sign. Ivypool nodded.

"we're going to be on in three!" Lionblaze called as the curtains rose. "1,2,3"

"Hello and welcome to win a date with Ashfur!" mewed waving out at the crowd there was loud capping. "today competing over me shall be… Ivypool and Scourge!" Ashfur yowled. They clapped as Ivypool padded onstage and when a small black tom padded after her claps erupted into fans screaming with joy. Scourge took off his shades and waved. Ashfur grinned and pushed the two cats into their seats.

"your first question…" the host read from his card, "who is your least favorite family member?" he asked. Ivypool smiled.

"easy, Shadowkit, he gives me weird vibes," she mewed shrugging innocently. Scourge cracked neck.

"socks, ruby, Jake, Firestar every cat coming off Firestar meaning every cat," Scourge hissed. Ashfur nodded.

"Jayfeather give scourge three points and Ivypool three as well I mean she's right Shadowkit gives me weird vibes as well. Jayfeather?" Ashfur glanced at the chalkboard and sighed the host quickly wrote the marks then sat down again.

"next question. Who gave you the worst Chinese chainsaw?" he asked. Scourge smirked.

"a grizzly bear," he mewed winking at the camera. Ashfur gave Scourge the half eye look for a few seconds before shrugging.

"Ivypool?" he asked getting up ready to write down their score.

"what is a Chinese chainsaw?" she asked.

"lame!" Ashfur hissed giving Scourge two more points and Ivypool none. "next question is, what your mums best embarrassing thing to call you?" he asked.

"tiny," Scourge grumbled crossing his paws.

"that was your name," Ashfur said frowning. "what about you Ivypool?" he asked hoping for a better answer.

"adorable little pumpkin Lumpkin with chocolate sprinkles and sweet hugs," Ivypool recited trying to hide her face. Ashfur grinned.

"three points to Ivypool and Scourge gets one," Ashfur mewed adding marks on the board. "Scourge you are at six and so are you Ivypool," Ashfur told the contestants sitting down again. "your next question!" he mewed grabbing a card quickly read it then threw it aside.

"who cleans your toilets?" he muttered reading another one and chucking it away once he found a good card, he read it out.

"how many bones have you broken?" he asked. Ivypool answered first.

"26!" she mewed proudly.

"never," Scourge said.

"well two points to Scourge and none to Ivypool! Scourge you are now at eight and is winning!" Ashfur mewed adding to marks under Scourge on the board he accidentally broke the chalk and half flicked out into the crowd and hit a cat in the eyeball.

"oops," Ashfur mewed innocently sitting down. "probably your last question. Who recommended you?" Ashfur asked, "and you can't go to the review page!" Ashfur added as Scourge and Ivypool pulled out their phones.

"uh… HHQfandom?" Ivypool asked.

"catspider12?" Scourge guessed next.

"the correct answer is, Moonstar who is a guest." Ashfur replied. "so you all get three points" he added to there disappointment. "meaning Scourge, you have won a date with me!" the host mewed pulling Scourge off stage. Ivypool watched them go and shrugged.

"am I meant to leave to?" Ivypool asked as the curtain lowered.

"yes," Lionblaze mewed and turned off his camera.


	12. Bluestar and Tigerstar

**Next chapter is Empress Nightfrost and HHQfandom, just so you know I am no longer taking cats. Thank you for all the reviews.**

Ashfur sighed remembering his date with Scourge, apparently, the guy didn't like hugs. I'll remember that Ashfur though glancing at his dressing table mirror to see the new nick in his ear. The host sat in his trailer parked in the parking lot right outside his theatre. His phone binged just as he was applying some makeup. The text was from Ivypool.

"get in the theatre now!" Ashfur read. "can't a host have some time to get ready!" he hissed, and he padded out of his trailer and into the building. It wasn't the nicest.

"what is it," he asked marching up to Ivypool who waited for him on the stage with Dovewing.

"look," Ivypool mewed pushing Dovewing forward the grey she-cat had her paws behind her back she took her paws forward to reveal she had no paws!

"the printer cut them off!" Dovewing sobbed.

"What?!" Ashfur hissed his eyeballs almost popping off. "impossible," he hissed.

"but the worst part is," Dovewing sobbed harder, "I won't be able to do the jobs you give me!" she mewed grabbing a suitcase from the side and held it with her elbows. "I have to quit," Dovewing mewed wiping her eyes with her knee, she struggled to leave the building.

"why is everyone leaving me?" Ashfur asked himself sighing, "at least I still have you," he mewed grinning at Ivypool. The she-cat bit her lip.

"Actually, I have to take care of Dovewing," Ivypool explained padding away with a sorry expression she raced outside before Dovewing could try and drive without hands. She left Ashfur slumped over with disappointment.

"let's get ready to start" Ashfur mewed trying to brighten up for the show. Lionblaze nodded and finished setting up his camera and rushed to open the doors. Ashfur grinned out at his crowd when the curtain lifted.

"welcome back, so soon too!" Ashfur mewed smoothing out his fur. "today our competitors are, Bluestar and Tigerstar!" he yowled as the two cats padded onstage. Holding hands! Ashfur glared at them and as quickly as you'd notice it, it was gone.

"straight to it, are you dating any?" he asked. Tigerstar frowned

"yes," he mewed. Ashfur nodded.

"who?" the host asked.

"you didn't ask that," Tigerstar hissed back.

"I'm not really sure," Bluestar answered shrugging. Ashfur nodded.

"two points for Bluestar," Ashfur mewed still glaring at Tigerstar. "next question is who cleans your toilets? THIS AGAIN!" Ashfur yowled but didn't bother to pick a new card.

"the children," Bluestar mewed slyly.

"that's normal," Ashfur answered writing down her answer on a piece of paper.

"the maid," Tigerstar mewed grinning. Ashfur rolled his eyes.

"three points to Bluestar making her at five and Tigerstar at zero," Ashfur mewed snatching up another card. "how many people have you been with?" he asked giving Tigerstar a nervous glance.

"one cat," Bluestar mewed. Tigerstar shrugged and quickly counted on his toes.

"four," he mewed. Ashfur sneered.

"I've dated as much as how many episodes there is!" Ashfur mewed, "Bluestar you get three points and Tigerstar gets none again leaving you at zero and Bluestar at eight!" Ashfur mewed grabbing his next card.

"what do you think of my little pony?" Ashfur asked. Tigerstar shrugged.

"it is pretty lame," he admitted, Bluestar gasped and slapped him across the face.

"my little pony is amazing!" she hissed. Ashfur nodded.

"yeah she's right two points for her and minus ten points for you!" he agreed putting an arm around Bluestar who was muttering dark things about Tigerstar.

"we will go on a date to a My little pony theme park," the host mewed, Bluestar's face brightened.

"really? Let's go!" Bluestar mewed and ran off stage dragging Ashfur with her. Tigerstar huffed and padded slowly after them.


	13. Empress Nightfrost and HHQfandom

**Hi guys! Please enjoy this chapter of Win a date with Ashfur!**

 **Sorry, Empress Nightfrost I had already finished this chapter by the time you answered.**

Ashfur sat down on his chair grinning into his camera. Who needs a camera cat. OH! Yah you wouldn't know cause Lionblaze couldn't film it. He quit to take care of Jayfeather who kind of crashed his car and has all his limbs in a cast. And Hollyleaf can't take care of him instead because she is on a ski trip with Fallen leaves who is taking his new freedom around the world.

And Ashfur is too scared to add to the posters because it turns out the printer has teeth and can actually chomp of hands and Dovewing wasn't just being weird.

"I'm by myself now," Ashfur shrugged. "I think it's time to start!" he mewed and rushed off stage to pull up the curtain then rush back onstage.

"welcome all to win a date with Ashfur!" Ashfur mewed bowing. "today with us is Empress Nightfrost and HHQfandom," Ashfur mewed. And two cats padded onstage. On was fling themselves all over the place, arching her back and eternally doing things with her tail.

"this is awesome!" the cat mewed sitting down. "being transformed into a cat for this occasion might be the best thing ever," HHQfandom mewed flicking her tail around her face pawing it.

"I'm the cutest thing ever," she chuckled. (I apologize if you're male HHQfandom I don't know your gender) Ashfur nodded.

"yes being a cat is pretty cool," he mewed and lay on the ground sticking his butt in the air, he shimmied his hind legs closer to his front one until he practically was bending in half.

"We are very flexible," Ashfur mewed flopping back up properly and sitting in his chair. Empress Nightfrost was clearly also enjoying her new body but not so open about it.

"I do miss my hands," she mewed quietly. HHQfandom nodded.

"hands are useful, but our paws are so cute1 and deadly." HHQfandom mewed unsheathing her claws.

"yes, yes, now onto the questions!" Ashfur said rolling his eyes. HHQfandom and Empress fandom nodded sitting on there stools.

"the first Question, who is your least favorite Disney princess," he asked.

"Snow White," both contestants answered at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise.

"reasons?" Ashfur asked again.

"Well, she's just boring!" HHQfandom groaned.

"it confuses me why a prince would kiss a corpse," Empress Nightfrost answered sounding like she was about to burst into a rant.

"you both get two points, I mean the corpse was probably really old, what do the dwarfs have a glass coffin ready lying around? No, they had to buy it or make it, and making it would take a long time and they are far from society so going to town to buy one would also take a long time!" Ashfur ranted and took a deep breath in. HHQfandom and Empress Nightfrost nodded.

"next question!" Ashfur called. Grabbing another card. "Coffee or chocolate?" Ashfur asked and pulled a coffee and a block of chocolate from his bag.

"Chocolate," the contestants mewed at the same time and grinned again.

"wow, great minds think alike!" HHQfandom yowled holding up a paw.

"Yeah!" Nightfrost laughed high pawing her.

"you both get three points," Ashfur mewed, "you're both at five!" he mewed. "your next question is, cats or dogs?" Ashfur mewed.

"If I had to choose life or death, cats," HHQfandom mewed shrugging apologetically at a box of puppies at the side of the stage.

"CATS! WHO WOULDN'T WANT A CUTE LITTLE FLU-" Empress night frost was interrupted by Ashfur her poured the coffee into her mouth. Her eye twitched then she started patting a couch.

"You both get two more points!" Ashfur mewed. "you guys keep answering the same answer," he mewed grinning. "your next question is, what is the grossest Ice cream flavor you've ever had?" He asked. HHQfandom tapped her chin in thought. Empress Nightfrost looked up from the couch she was petting, she had calmed down slightly.

"Mint and chocolate chip, who would put a herb with the best thing in the world?!" she hissed. HHQfandom smiled.

"I've never had a gross flavor just gross jelly beans," she mewed.

"two points for Empress Nightfrost and one for HHQfandom making you at eight and Nightfrost at nine," Ashfur mewed drawing out the last card. "Who is your Favourite warrior cats' mother?" Ashfur asked. HHQFandoms paw shot in the air. "yes?" Ashfur asked pointing at her.

"Brindleface," she mewed. Empress Nightfrost didn't answer she just stared into space.

"um?" Ashfur waved his hand in front of her face.

"Okay, what warrior cat are you oddly obsessed with?" Ashfur asked shrugging at the crowd.

"Ashfur!" she mewed happily waving at him.

"OH! You both get one point," he mewed clasping his paws together.

"but what was the question?" Empress Nightfrost asked frowning.

"doesn't matter, you won this episode! You get to go on a date with me! And HHQfandom you get this block of chocolate," Ashfur shouted chucking the block of chocolate at HHQfandom as he and Empress padded off stage.

"I personally like this prize better than a date with Ashfur," HHQfandom commented padding off stage as well.

 **Well here we are the second last episode; next episode will be deciding who will be Ashur's mate for the rest of his life! Can't wait to do it!**


	14. The final chapter

**The final chapter**

Ashfur padded proudly onstage. This was the last episode. he had made it through and it was time to decide who is mate was! He was so exited he could poop himself, oh he just did. Ashfur blushed and darted back off the stage and charge for the bathroom, he stepped back out wearing a new suit, not as nice as his first. He strutted onto stage straightening his tie. He sat down in his couch gave the contestants on the side a thumbs up for them to lift the curtain.

"didn't know we had to work here," Mothwing grunted her paws on her hips.

"yeah" Firestar agreed with equal sass.

Ashfur glared at them to zip it and just open the curtains. "hello and welcome to win a date with Ashfur, that's me," Ashfur yowled prancing about along the stage.

"this is our final episode, and we shall have six cats to compete over me as not just there date, but there mate!" he shouted with a flourish. Mothwing rolled her eyes from the side as she padded onstage with all the other contestants.

"we have, Mothwing, Scourge, Firestar, Bluestar, Bramblestar and Squirrelflight!" Ashfur introduced the cats as the walked up to him. They all sat down on one long couch.

"I will still be asking them questions but instead of gaining points they either get kicked off stage or get to stay, the last two standing will have to fight over moi, by drum roll please," Firestar was the first to drum. "by an eating competition!" Ashfur laughed.

"yeah!" Firestar laughed clapping his paws together in joy.

"what do we eat?" Mothwing asked rolling her eyes.

"birthday cake of course," Ashfur mewed giving her a slight bow.

"anyway, you first question, what is your favourite cat in the world's name?" he asked. Mothwing looked slightly confused.

"uh, Mistystar I guess, or Willowpelt," she mewed.

"Sandstorm!" Firestar mewed loyally, he got a big thumbs up from his mate who sat at the front row.

"Bone, he was a really good friend and a loyal follower," Scourge said waving at the camera, in his grandma's lounge Bone waved back.

"Squirrelflight," Bramblestar mewed.

"Bramblestar," Squirrelflight mewed.

"OUT!" Ashfur yowled at Squirrelflight and Bramblestar. "off the stage you've failed out!" Ashfur hissed again pushing the two off the stage into the crowd.

"do I still answer?" Bluestar asked. Ashfur shook his head.

"your next question is, do you have a mate?" he asked.

"yes," Firestar mewed un happy he wouldn't get to eat some birthday cake.

"you know what to do." Ashfur hissed pointing out to the crowd. Firestar nodded glumly.

"Stage dive!" he yowled and flung himself into the crowd, surprisingly no-one side stepped, and they actually caught him.

"anyone else got a mate?" Ashfur asked, the last three shook their heads. "okay because your next question is. What is the most likely weight of a female mammoth 5 weeks pregnant?" Ashfur asked unexpectedly, almost immediately Mothwing replied.

"four metric tone" she mewed smarty.

"that was just a test to see if you're a know it all, get out!" Ashfur pointed out to the crowd. Mothwing shrugged.

"I never wanted to be here anyway!" she mewed hopping off the stage.

"well, well, well. Scourge and Bluestar," Ashfur mewed turning to the last cats he clapped his paws and a hatch opened from the floor, a table covered in birthday cakes rose from it.

"get ready to eat!" Ashfur screamed. "that means go toilet quickly," he added.

 _After the toilet break_

"well are you ready?" Ashfur asked, Bluestar and Scourge sat at the table wearing full body bibs. They nodded and prepared there forks.

"GO!" Scourge threw aside his fork and shoved his face into his first cake. Bluestar tidily ate her food. She cut a slice and pulled a mouthful off with her knife and stabbed it with her fork. When she was eating slice by slice Scourge was eating cake by cake.

"that's disgusting," Bluestar commented once she had swallowed. Scourge was to busy shoving down cake to reply

He was onto his last cake well Bluestar was struggiling to fit in her fith piece she sighed and eneded up shoving her finger down her throat she vomited all over the floor and scourge gasped.

"don't do that! That is really bad for you!" he hissed. Bluestar shrugged carelessly.

"I think eating fourteen whole birthday cake's within ten minutes is more un healthy." She mewed. Scourge glared at her and finished his last cake.

"SCOURGE IS THE WINNER!" Ashfur yowled hopping over the vomit patch and held Scourge's paw in the air.

"oh yeah!" Scourge howled. He wiped his face and took off his full body bib to reveal a wedding suit. Bluestar took off her suit to reveal and Brides dress, but more of a guest's dress now. Yellowfang padded on stage holding a big book. She stood at a microphone and opened her book as some best men stepped on stage. Yellowfang cleared her throat then flicked to the very back of the book.

"You may kiss the groom," she mewed slamming the book shut. Ashfur swooped Scourge into a dip and kissed him. It was followed with weeping and clapping.

"Goodbye!" Ashfur mewed waving to the crowd once he put Scourge back up. The curtain dropped.

 _The end._


End file.
